I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize