Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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