NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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