she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Randomize