Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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