I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
