You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
