Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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