i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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