I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I forgot how hot balto sounded
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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