i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
