So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
