You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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