Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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