So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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