It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
