apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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