What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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