I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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