You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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