C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
