I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
