Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
