wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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