It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize