Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
