I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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