brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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