I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
