paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need to sanitize my soul.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
