he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
