It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
