why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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