i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
