we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
