it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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