worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
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