i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
