Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
