so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
