i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
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