Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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