Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
