Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Why is your signature on my underwear?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
