she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
God, I missed his penis.
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