My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I touched a dick in church today
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
