My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you would pick up someone in the library
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
