their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize