I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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