HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
