whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize