He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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