I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
