why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
