I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
