another moral hangover. fuck.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
