is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
