I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It's blow job season.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
