please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
