and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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