i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
