Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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