oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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