Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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